Articles - Eat The Press Do Not Read It

Why I am a Trump Supporter! Iam Stupid!

Via: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 20 Comments • 2 Likes • 5 years ago

“"He's a good man. We should let him do his job. His job is golfing!”

Folks always ask me, "Why are you a Trump supporter, Stupid?"And, I never know exactly how to respond because, I am stupid, and, proud of it. So, I just punch them in the face, which they seem to savor. I would kick them in the groin, but, I am not a sexual pervert, that way. However, when...

Neanderthals Are Cropping Up Like Hairs On an Old Man's Nose, and, just as Disgusting!

By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 46 Comments • 6 Likes • 5 years ago

“Neaderthals didn't go extinct, they just migrated to 'Merica and blended in with the local yokels. - Jonathan Livingston-Pigeon, "Doctored"”

The history that we have been taught is all wrong! Anthropologists, and, other half-baked. East Coast-Pinko, swishy scientists have brainwashed us into believing "Neanderthals died out about 100,000 years ago", plus, or, minus 100-300,000 years.Well, Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo, CEO &...

Welcome To My Coming Out Party

Via: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 121 Comments • 6 Likes • 5 years ago

“Come On In The Water's Fine" - Jonathan LivingstonPigeon-Poo, "Doctored"”

For 77.6.16 years, like, perhaps, many of you, girls, I hid in the CLOSET, afraid to come out. But, not anymore. Today is the day! Welcome to my Coming Out Party. Gifts, particularly large amounts of "cash" is always appreciated at these events. Since I was a young lad, about nine years old. I...

Eat the Press - Do Not Read It! We are the "original fake news". We are so fake we just make it up!

By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 32 Comments • 4 Likes • 5 years ago

“"The Public's Right To Know Supersecede Our Right To Tell The Truth. So, we don't!"”

Some of you, with faulty memories, may remember us from our days together, either, in Facebook Jail, where we distinguished ourselves by "whining and sucking our thumbs", or, on the Newsvine.com.site, which we helped to destroy with our numerous posts, where we "complained, complained and...

Vote Every Damn Republican Out Of Office! Ship them, "postage due", to Russia!

By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 25 Comments • 1 Like • 5 years ago

“"MAGA DIASTER are a dime a dozen with this POS in the WH!"”

The content you are about to read is "Confidential"!That is to say, keep it on the "down low", the "up highs", are, too, "high" to comprehend its full import. - Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo, "Doctored"! If you don't think I am "doctored", look in my medicine cabinet. I take 17 kinds of...

Mildew, Ohio, a lovely, nearly all torn down, community of misfits is now focusing on Dogs Without Their Tags, over Homeless Drug Addicts Seeping Into Our Town Like a Plague of Locusts

By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 9 Comments • 1 Like • 5 years ago

“"Can't see the trees for the Locusts" - Wintrope Merrideth, The III”

Today, I had breakfast with my friend Joe, who is 74, retired, has a dog, as I previously did, and likes to get his "breakfast fix" at Mickey "D's." We have many things in common; Joe is an "artist." I am a "con-artist," some claim. Joe taught Art in the Dayton Public Schools System, and, I...

PENCE IN A FEW WORDS

By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 12 Comments • 1 Like • 5 years ago

“"I am not gay. I am just odd"!”

Smalley Pence, created by Al Franken! Pence today: Pence's Accomplishment in only two years. Will he destroy the World? These pictures were hand-picked by...

Is America at WAR with RUSSIA? Or, the Republican Party?

By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 56 Comments • 1 Like • 5 years ago

“"Putin is a good man. I trust him"! - Donald J. Trump, America's First Fake ,Real POS!”

Are we at War with Russia?Republicans have REFUSED to do anything about Russia's proven interference in our past election. Republicans have REFUSED to do anything about the SLAUGHTER of our Children In Schools! Except for suggesting we arm kids. Republicans have REFUSED to stop the...

WELCOME TO MY COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET PARTY!

By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 17 Comments • 1 Like • 5 years ago

“"I am a LIBERAL and will No Longer Hide In My Closet with my friends. It Stinks in there!"”

Why Hide In the Closet? It stinks in there!CAUTION: Big Boy language slung about "Chere"! If you are queer that way, and, are offended by words, but, not by deeds, please, by all means available, speed, speed away from "Chere."- Thank you, Management!Friends, Romans, Countrymen, and, fellow...

Welcome to My "COMING OUT PARTY"!

Via: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 16 Comments • 2 Likes • 5 years ago